There was me

I received an email from a crew member, Ali.

He wrote the story of how things are going, of what is happening and where they are going to sail next.

The ship is the same. HERACLITUS.

I was on board for some months

There was me on those images, just some weeks ago.

There was me cooking in the galley, there was me sitting on deck. There was me feeling and living.

Now I sit in a rainy country which I wonder if I still belong.

and everything I see through the eyes of Ali is what I used to see.

Water, sun, people and world.

I miss that. I miss it a lot.

People here ask me questions.

I try to answer and I realize I can just talk about actions, things that somehow I can visualize.

All what is beyond, how I am going to explain?

People ask me how we did, what I did.

And answers are not easy. How did we repair a ship? Did you ever feel scared?

How do you decide a route? How do you do these researches? How do you support yourself?

How, what how...

But somebody waits.

Somebody knows that beyond all the images I show there is something real.

All what I say and write is a very little part.

Do you understand?

A very little part of the giant spectrum of all the feelings is the one I can talk about.

The rest, is mine, is yours, is of who ever live and feel alive.

Imagine yourself sailing in the middle of the ocean or sitting on deck in a warm night.

You, just you.

Who can really know what is there, in your deep spirit and who can see how huge is that thought crossing your mind?

No one.

Really, no one.

So there are the struggle, the sorrow, the happiness, the sadness, the uncertainties, the dreams.

Now I can live with this. i am comfortable with everything I can be.

I learnt that.

I learnt things can be so different from the way i used to think of them and sometimes I don't even expect to understand. I take them as they are. Good or bad, it doesn't matter.

I miss the friends, I miss the parties, I miss the work, i miss the loneliness. Mostly i miss the empty space of my real self. I miss to feel really me.

i miss traveling and floating and feeling nowhere. Just going, going, going. and never gone.

I wish to the current crew all the best for their time and wherever else they are going and anchoring. All the best? Yes, it means that I hope they will feel the vibe of the place but mostly of the group. I wish that every one feels there. Just there for the time he wants to be there.

And I wish that the slow time of the ocean crossing can be a little bit mine too.

I am not on board, I know, but nothing and no one can avoid me to feel that me, the part of myself that I cannot see, is sailing back to this world. I will count every meridian and every mile the ship will cross, trying to forget the speed that took me back.

I will be over the waves of the Ocean I met some thousands of miles more south.

I will watch one. I will follow it till the shore where it wants to die.

I want to be wherever it's free.

Now i am somehow tight in a shape i didn't choose, but Heraclitus and all the world i saw made me feel that I always can.

Thank you.

thank you to every one that believes that it is always possible.

Enjoy the Ocean and happy wind.

Cheers, to our friends around the planet.